Believe...Just because.

What a better way to start the new year, than with a new post?
For the new year...(though technically the new year spirit has come but all gone)

I remember when I was in Form 1...In a new school, in a new environment, with new faces. (okay it wasn't entirely alien, but with my friends in other classes, I felt pretty...alone.)
Not the point. (though 'new' works. in this case)

Now back to the story. My English teacher, Mrs. Whatever-her-name-was was your typical stern-looking, no-nonsense teacher (at least that's what I can gather after all these years, who says only teachers can't remember their students name!).

P.S. she is that SJ teacher whom my friend and I get the worse from, with a cleanliness check every Monday, her taking the last period before assembly, the class being unreasonably dirty week after week, and us being on floor duty on Mondays. (urghh, those WERE the days i definitely would want to forget)

So on the first period of her class, we were given an assignment to do (already! i know!).

An essay entitled...My New Year Resolutions.

Of course by now, I do not recall at all any of the contents of my essay. Heck, it may all sound so cliche now that I've grown up (more like getting old) but then...then.

It seemed like almost an impossible task to do.
Or something passed off as easy.
Or something exciting or interesting.

The former being a practical teenager understanding that more than half of what would be written would not be accomplished by the end of the year anyway.
The latter being an ambitious teenager who has ideas just spinning off in her head waiting to be overturned out and who never stops dreaming.

Of the combination of the two, I was slighted more towards the picture of the former teenager.

Now as I glanced back at the past, I think to myself, "What have I actually done?"
And as I look forward to the future, "What can I do?"

Surely, I have become worse. Much more cynical bout life. A realist. No longer believing in the happily ever after. At least not for myself. Not now. But no, I can't bring myself to say,

"Not ever."

Just because I want to believe in the best in others. I want to believe there's a better place out there. I want to believe I can dream dreams. I want to believe in myself. I want to believe I too, can have a happy ever after. Just because.

Start it right. End it well.
LiSs ^^